


if the world was ending, you'd come over, right?

by nullvoid



Category: Buzzfeed Unsolved (Web Series), Watcher Entertainment RPF
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Earthquakes, Established Relationship, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Natural Disasters, both of them think the other is dead
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-12
Updated: 2021-01-12
Packaged: 2021-03-17 02:00:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,763
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28716939
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nullvoid/pseuds/nullvoid
Summary: "Heading out..?" Shane mumbled. Ryan nodded, pressing another kiss to his cheek."I feel a little worked up today, might be a little longer than usual. You still going to that farmer's market?" Shane yawned and checked the clock, nodding."In West Hollywood, yeah. I'd better get moving, too.." Ryan tapped the mug he left on the nightstand for his lover before turning to leave."Love you,""Mhmm, you too."or, an earthquake strikes the Los Angeles area.
Relationships: Ryan Bergara/Shane Madej
Comments: 10
Kudos: 99





	if the world was ending, you'd come over, right?

**Author's Note:**

  * For [popkin16](https://archiveofourown.org/users/popkin16/gifts).



> Hi! Pop mentioned this idea for a prompt where both of the boys think the other is dead and when I asked how that would work, they provided a very nice scenario that I really liked <3 So this is for pop!  
> Side note: Sorry for the weird formatting. I'm still not entirely sure what I'm doing lol

It happened on a Saturday.

Ryan and Shane woke up, as per usual. Ryan first, because he likes to wake up early to go to the gym on the weekends. He quietly got ready while his boyfriend continued to doze.

When Shane woke, it was to the smell of coffee and the feeling of Ryan kissing his forehead. He blinked a few times, slowly, and smiled up at his partner. Ryan set a fresh mug of Shane's favorite blend on the nightstand.

"Heading out..?" Shane mumbled. Ryan nodded, pressing another kiss to his cheek.

"I feel a little worked up today, might be a little longer than usual. You still going to that farmer's market?" Shane yawned and checked the clock, nodding.

"In West Hollywood, yeah. I'd better get moving, too.." Ryan tapped the mug he left on the nightstand for his lover before turning to leave.

"Love you,"

"Mhmm, you too."

* * *

A few short hours later, Ryan was running on a treadmill. His footfalls were heavy, his arms swung as he pushed himself a little harder than usual. Something felt _off_. It felt like his anxiety was on high alert, but he couldn't figure out why.

Across town, Shane was working his way through a street market. He had been wanting to try more veggie-centered meals, citing his doctor's advice to take care of his body. Perhaps it also had something to do with him wanting to be with Ryan for as long as his life would allow him, but that was for himself to know.

Ryan felt the first tremor in his last half mile. It rocked through the building the same time his foot hit the belt, causing him to fumble a little in his pace. He swore and turned down the speed, eventually slowing to a stop. Ryan leaned over the control panel, taking deep breaths as his heart worked up a panic in his chest.

_It was just a little tremor. They happen all the time._

* * *

The second wave hit Shane while he was swiping his card through a vendor's iPad.

"Oh, no!" she cried as her table shook and a tower of tomatoes dived into the ground. Shane helped her pick up the survivors.

"Boy, that felt like a big one," he said, the rare zing of nervous energy making itself known in the unsure wobble of his tone. The woman smiled at him kindly.

"It'll be fine, dear. Just a tremor. They happen all the time, you know." Shane returned her polite smile and nodded a goodbye before he moved along in the market.

He only got a few more stalls down when the earthquake kicked in full-force. It was sudden, violent vibrations making him stumble to the ground. The vendors and shoppers around him let out screams and shouts, everyone rushing to get under stalls and tables. Shane was left out in the open, unable to get his footing as the shaking only worsened. He felt a rough hand grab his shirt, yanking him under the cover of a nearby table. Nearly a second later, a small palm tree flopped into the spot he had previously been stuck in.

Gasping, Shane looked to his rescuer in a panic. He came face-to-face with the woman who he had just bought the vegetables from - the same ones now crushed under a tree.

"Bad one?" he choked out. She nodded numbly; the world continued to crash around them.

* * *

Ryan was in the locker room of the gym, pressed into a corner and hugging his duffel bag tightly. His eyes were wide as he watched tiles fall in the showers, panels shake loose from the ceiling. His breathing was shallow and quick, his heart hammering away in his throat. It was a panic attack, but he couldn't focus on that. He was too busy making sure he stayed safe while his mind focused on _Shane_. Shane, who was supposed to be at the farmer's market. Shane, who was outside. Shane, who was currently exposed to possible building collapse _and_ the wrath of nature.

After what felt like ten minutes, the shaking stopped. Ryan remained frozen in his spot, nearly hyperventilating as tears began to roll down his face.

_I have to move, I have to get my phone, I have to call Shane-_

"Hey, there's someone in here!" he came back to himself as another man ran into the locker room, shouting behind him. He ran up to Ryan and knelt in front of him, lowering his voice when he saw the state he was in. The guy smiled shakily, but kindly. "Hey, dude. You're okay. Everything's fine." Ryan shook his head finally, taking a heaving breath in. "You are. Some trees and shit outside got fucked up, but you're okay. The gym is still standing and you're alive." Ryan let the man's comforting tone seep into his mind and nodded slowly.

"Okay, yeah. Everything's okay, bro. You ever have a panic attack before?" Ryan nodded again, making his companion smile. "Me too. Anxiety's a bitch, right?"

The stranger continued to speak to him softly as other people entered the locker room. A woman dressed in a medic uniform assessed him from a polite distance, noticing that Ryan was still very shaken up.

"Sir, I'm a paramedic. Were you struck by any debris?" Ryan shook his head, then looked up at her.

"I'm fine," he spoke, throat raw from tension. "How big was it?" taking his acknowledgment as a sign to move closer, she began to do a range of motion test on him as well as checking for signs of a concussion.

"We're getting calls from all over Los Angeles and the surrounding areas. Currently, we have teams focused here in Anaheim and West Hollywood." Ryan felt himself go numb.

"Wh.. where specifically..?" she looked up at him.

"... You have a loved one over there, huh?" he nodded quickly. She stared at him quietly for a moment before continuing her work. "It does no good to speculate. Call them. You'll be able to get through to them, I'm sure." Ryan pressed his lips together tightly, annoyed that the woman wouldn't give him information. Deep down, he understood it was because she knew he was already panicking, but he needed to _know_ that Shane was okay.

* * *

Shane crawled out from under the table and helped the woman stand too.

"You okay?" she nodded quietly. Both of them looked at the tree that had fallen. Shane swallowed, dry throat clicking. "You, uh. You saved me there." the woman nodded again.

"I just saw you struggling, thought you could use a hand." she sighed and looked around. Shane followed her lead, taking in the damage around them.

Several palms and their leaves had fallen, some on top of the tables and stalls that were scattered through the street. Fruit, vegetables, and other goods lay splattered on the path. A nearby restaurant had its front window shattered, large shards of glass coating the sidewalk. On the inside, employees and customers alike were scrambling around to assist those who had sustained injuries. The woman sighed.

"Do you have any training?" Shane shook his head. "Unfortunate. I should go see if others need help. Are you going to be okay?" Shane nodded. He thanked her again before she headed off to check on other pedestrians.

"Shit, Ryan-" Shane started patting himself down for his phone, but it was nowhere to be found. Briefly, he remembered that he had slipped the device into his tote bag, which now lay pinned under the tree that had nearly maimed him.

With a sigh, he knelt next to the tree and tugged on the bag. After a few more tugs combined with Shane trying to pry the tree up off the ground, the bag finally came free. However, it did little good once he saw how destroyed his phone was.

"Son of a bitch.." he sighed. He pulled out his wallet instead, silently thanking past him for having the forethought to grab change before he left the apartment. Now he just had to find a payphone to try and get a hold of Ryan.

* * *

Ryan pressed 'dial' for the third time, the line shooting him straight to Shane's voicemail. He pulled his phone away and threw it into his bag, immediately burying his head in his hands.

It had been two hours and there had been no sort of contact from Shane. Ryan had hung around the gym for an hour to be sure Shane wouldn't try calling their front desk to ask for him. After that, Ryan had walked back home, still with nothing to calm him. Ryan had already talked to his parents, to his brother, to Steven. He even called Scott, to ensure he and his girlfriend were okay and see if _they_ had heard from Shane. There was no sign of his partner.

It was working him up. The damage he had seen on his way home was worrying enough. If West Hollywood was another priority for emergency services, the damage would be just as extensive, if not worse. Not to mention the fact that Shane would have been _outside_ for the market.

_Shane's trapped under a tree, he's fallen into a crack in the earth, Shane's hurt somewhere, Shane is-_

"He's dead," Ryan whispered. He paused where he had been pacing in the living room, looking up at a picture of him and Shane at Knott's Berry Farm they had framed on the wall.

_I'll never have that again, I'll never see him smile, Shane will never-_

"No, no, no.." he whimpered, sinking back onto the couch. He curled over himself and let out a loud sob. He felt hollow. His stomach was churning, his heart was breaking.

Ryan had lost the love of his life, his soulmate. He would never know happiness again.

* * *

Shane couldn't get a hold of the gym. The phone lines were blocked from the excessive amounts of phone calls going across the city. He couldn't stand not knowing if Ryan was okay or not.

Public transportation was down as well, but most of the major roads were shut down anyway. It would be impossible to get back to Anaheim in a decent amount of time on foot - he had to think of something else.

_Scott lives just outside of Glendale, I could borrow his car._

With this plan in his head, Shane put his days of running to good use and took off. While he wasn't wearing the best workout clothes, he still knew he could make good time.  
The entire time, he could only think of Ryan, of how stressed he had to be, of how Shane hadn't even properly said 'I love you' that morning. He couldn't let the sleepy image of Ryan walking out of their bedroom be the last memory he had of him. He refused to even _consider_ that reality.

By the time Shane had reached his brother's apartment, he was sweating through his clothes and another two hours had gone by. He had also managed to work himself into a panic, thinking that it was incredibly possible that Ryan _was_ hurt and nobody could get a hold of him to tell him otherwise. He approached the familiar door and pounded on it, probably a little more forceful than necessary. Scott's girlfriend, Beth, answered.

"Shane, oh my god! Are you okay? Come in, come in!" Shane gratefully walked into the apartment and flopped onto the nearby couch, panting from his run. Beth hurried to the kitchen and came back with a bottle of water, which Shane gratefully took a hearty drink from. When he regained a little composure, he finally spoke.

"Is Scott..?" the woman frowned, shaking her head.

"He's at work. What are you doing up here? Did you... run here from somewhere?" Shane nodded.

"I was at a farmer's market in West Hollywood when the earthquake happened. Nearly got taken out by a palm tree-" Beth gasped. "But I'm fine!" Shane hurried on. He gestured to his tote. "It landed on my bag instead, destroyed my phone. I haven't gotten a way to talk to Ryan. Have you heard anything?" Beth shook her head.

"No, I'm sorry. Scott just had enough time to call and say he was okay, so I don't know if he heard from Ryan either." Shane sighed and shook his head.

"I'm so worried. Nearly out of my mind with it." the woman nodded in understanding.

"Well, do you want a ride back to your apartment? It'll take a bit longer to get there, but it'll be a lot shorter than walking. Especially since you came out of the way." Shane smiled gratefully.

"I would appreciate that so much."

* * *

Ryan was laying down on the couch, clutching his phone to his chest. The last time Shane had gone to Chicago, he had been totally off schedule with Ryan. They were constantly missing phone calls and leaving messages. Ryan had saved nearly every single one of them. He pressed play on one.

> _"Hey, just calling to let you know I should be landing in LA in a few hours. I love you, baby. Can't wait to see you."_

He scrolled down and hit play.

> _"Hey, Ry. You were on my mind. Wanted to say hi. Miss you, baby."_

He scrolled and pressed play.

> _"Baby, it's me. Sorry, I missed you earlier - things are hectic around here! My little cousin, Carrie, asked about you. Said she misses Cousin Ryan's shoulder rides. I told her you'd come down for Christmas, so, surprise, we're coming to Schaumburg for Christmas! Haha... Seriously, though, it's only been a day and I'm already missing you so much. God, I wish you were here. Or that I was there with you. I- shit. I have to go apparently. I love you, Ryan. I'll be home before you know it."_

Ryan burst into another round of tears. Shane wouldn't be coming home, never again. These were the last things Ryan had of him. The videos they made and the voice messages left on Ryan's phone were the only chances Ryan would ever get to see and hear Shane.

He sniffled and rubbed his eyes, slowly sitting up. God, his head was starting to hurt from the emotions of the day. Ryan made his way to the kitchen, getting himself a glass of water. He sipped it slowly while staring at the wall.

Everything here reminded him of Shane. He would never get any peace from his thoughts if he continued living in this apartment. Wouldn't that be fine, though? Ryan was still wrapping his mind around the idea that Shane was gone. He didn't want to accept it, he didn't want to picture a life without Shane. He'd be fine with being haunted by the memories of the time they'd had together.

Ryan finished his water and put the glass in the sink, getting ready to head to the bedroom. It was only eight o'clock at night, but he would need all the mental strength he could get to call around tomorrow and let their coworkers, friends, and family know that.. things were going to be different.

When he entered their bedroom, he hadn't been prepared. The quake had rattled their whole apartment, but he hadn't thought about their bedroom. Everything that was on their nightstands - Ryan's glasses, a lamp on Shane's side, a digital clock, the mug Ryan had brought in that morning - now lay strewn on the floor.

Ryan sighed heavily, deciding to pick it up later. As he got undressed, he noticed Shane's pajamas from the previous night. Tears already pricking his eyes, he grabbed the top and breathed in the scent of his boyfriend, the smell that he knew was going to fade from existence and his memory eventually. He put Shane's pajamas on and, at the last moment, slipped Shane's shirt over his pillow. Getting into bed, he tugged the pillow tightly against him and buried his face in it. Ryan breathed in his lover, tried to commit every note and hint to memory. There was an overall warmth to it that encapsulated the understated earthy tones from the organic body wash he liked, the heavy scent of coffee that he was always sipping, and something indescribable that was just _Shane_. Ryan would never be able to figure it out or recreate it.

He sniffled and moved the pillow down, tucking it under his chin instead. He wanted nothing more to be holding Shane like this right now, making him feel small and safe like he liked to be, all curled up in Ryan's chest. Ryan felt the ache in his heart, knowing that he couldn't do things like that for Shane anymore.

Everything he did, he did for Shane. How would he ever continue?

* * *

Shane nearly forgot to thank Beth as she pulled up to his apartment building, making a mad dash to his and Ryan's door. It was nearing nine o'clock at night and _no one_ had any news beyond knowing Anaheim was one of the worst places hit. The phone lines were still tied up, so he couldn't get ahold of the hospitals to see if Ryan was there, or even the police to see if his body was waiting to be claimed.

Safe to say, Shane was freaking out, so he hoped his neighbors would forgive him for pounding on his door.

"Ryan? Ryan, please tell me you're in there!" he shouted, emotion making his voice crack and waver. There was no response. Shakily, he grabbed his keys from his tote and tried three times before finally getting them in the lock on the fourth try. He entered the apartment, hoping to see Ryan simply asleep on the couch.

Instead, there was nothing. The apartment looked like no one had come home all day. Some pictures were still on the ground, Shane's fern was knocked over, their floor lamp lay flopped on its side. Shane's heart sank.

"Ry? Ryan, baby, please.." he whimpered, unable to get any louder. He felt the abyss of despair start to open up around his heart, all his fears coming to light. If Ryan wasn't home, he had to be in the hospital, the morgue, or just.. lying dead and alone in the street, waiting for emergency services to recover his body. Shane _had_ to find him.

He dropped his tote by the door and headed to the bedroom to grab something a little warmer before he took back off into the streets. He kept his head down, unable to look at all the mementos of a life he and Ryan had built together. It was getting more real, the idea that this was over - that Shane's sun had burned out and disappeared forever and there was nothing he could do about it.

When he entered the bedroom, he saw more mess from the earthquake in his peripherals. Still, he kept his eyes on the floor and made his way to the closet, pulling out one of his favorite flannels. If Shane believed in 'lucky' objects, this shirt would be one of them. He was wearing it his first day at Buzzfeed, he was wearing it when he met Ryan. He was wearing it when he agreed to work on Unsolved, when Ryan asked him out, when they first kissed. Even now, when they had important meetings for Watcher, he still found himself choosing the flannel out of his closet. The flannel was a symbol now of everything he didn't want to - no, that he _couldn't_ \- lose.

He put it on over his tee and turned to face the bed finally, immediately freezing in his tracks. Ryan was laid atop the sheets, completely passed out, shirtless and holding a pillow that was wearing Shane's sleep shirt. Unsteady relief replaced the panic and despair in his system as he slowly approached the bed. He was scared to touch Ryan, to see if he was real. What if he wasn't? What would he do then?

Before he could do anything, Ryan blinked his eyes open slowly and looked over at Shane, who was now practically looming over him. Ryan stared for a moment before gasping and throwing himself to the other side of the bed.

"Oh my god, oh my god, ghosts are real, fuck shit-" Shane frowned, holding his hands up in a placating manner.

"What? Ryan, baby, breathe. It's just me." Ryan shook his head, the pillow still locked tightly in his grip.

"No, no, Shane is dead, this is not happening-" that was news to Shane. Was he dead? He looked over himself and shook his head.

"Ryan, I'm not dead. I'm right here." he walked around the bed and very slowly backed Ryan into the corner. All the while, Ryan continued babbling in fear, tears welling up in his eyes and making Shane's heartache. Once Ryan was trapped, Shane slowly and gently placed a hand on his arm, then the other. Ryan gasped and looked up at his boyfriend, eyes wide.

"Oh my god, you're here," he whispered. The pillow fell from his grasp and he flung his arms around Shane instead, gut-wrenching sobs ripping themselves from his throat. Shane felt his lip tremble and let his tears fall as he hugged Ryan back desperately. Both of them were certain the other was going to leave bruises from where fingers and arms were squeezing, but neither could care.

"Baby, I was so fucking worried, no one had heard from you all day.." Shane said, kissing all over Ryan's head. Ryan shook his head and reached up, kissing Shane's cheek and jaw and anything else he could reach.

"No one had heard from _you_! The paramedic s.. said that your area was.. hit just as bad as Anaheim. S-so-" Shane pulled back, looking over his lover.

"Paramedic? Are you hurt?" Ryan shook his head and buried himself into Shane's chest again.

"'M fine, I just... I was so fucking scared.. and alone." Shane's lip wobbled again and he squeezed his boyfriend, rubbing his back slowly.

"It's okay, baby, I've got you.." he pulled back and tilted Ryan's face up, kissing him deeply. Shane pulled back just enough to whisper against his lips, "I won't ever let you think you're alone again. I promise," Ryan whimpered in response and kissed his partner back harder, hands moving to clutch his cheeks.

"I love you so much, Shane." Shane smiled and nuzzled Ryan's hair, breathing in his comforting scent.

"I love you too, Ryan."

**Author's Note:**

> Fun fact: this was supposed to be a paragraph long and it was supposed to be lost to the void in the shyan server. Oops.


End file.
